


hold on to the night

by brightest_stars



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/F, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post-Hogwarts, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22067257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightest_stars/pseuds/brightest_stars
Summary: Hermione receives a letter after the death of her lover, giving her instructions to go to a certain place on a certain day, and to meet someone there.
Relationships: Hermione Granger & Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger/Narcissa Black Malfoy
Comments: 14
Kudos: 98





	hold on to the night

**Author's Note:**

> As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I just wanna say that I do NOT agree with J K Rowling's recent tweets about trans people. trans women are women, trans men are men - people are what they are. I also think that the Harry Potter fandom has taken on a life of it's own, and we can all still love the Wizarding World without supporting J K Rowling's bigotry and transphobia :)  
> If y'all wanna learn more about this, check out jammidodger's video, it explains things pretty well in my opinion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ayoA0OMtL4
> 
> With that said, enjoy the story!

_ 2007 _

Hermione saw the blond head she was looking for across the cafe, and its similarity to  _ her _ hair made chest tighten as her heart began to beat. This was going to be hard. She made a beeline for his table, where he was sitting on his own with an envelope in front of him, and an untouched coffee. “Draco, I’m so sorry.” She placed her hand gently on his shoulder as she gave him her condolences.

Through their work, and the inevitability of running into people you know in the Wizarding World, they had become friendly acquaintances in the eight years since they had left Hogwarts. Five years ago Hermione suspected neither of them would ever have even been acquaintances, let alone call each other a friend, with the way he tormented her during their schooldays leaving an impassable barrier between them, but slowly they had become friendlier, now stopping for a chat when they passed in the halls of the Ministry and in Diagon Alley, and occasionally ending up at social events together.

“Hermione!” Draco said. He sounded slightly surprised and distant as he looked up at her. “Thank you. I’m, uh, meeting someone important, so I really don’t have time to talk, sorry.” Draco said distractedly as he scanned the cafe again.

Hermione squeezed his shoulder gently and stepped back. “I know.” She said as she set down her bag and took off her coat.

Confusion then comprehension flooded over his face, and he gasped. “It’s you? You were with-”

“It’s me.” Hermione slides a letter across the table, and Draco glances at it, and seeing his mother’s seal stamped into the wax, he slides it back across to her.

“I’m sorry for your loss. I… um… I didn’t know it was you.” Draco is obviously reeling from this revelation and Hermione leans back in her chair, staring at the sugar bowl in the centre of the table.

“Do you know why… why she wanted me to meet you here?” Hermione asked, trying desperately to move this conversation along. Since hearing the news two weeks ago, Hermione had spent most of that time holed up in her apartment, eating ice cream and takeout, and generally being miserable.

Draco waves down a waiter and orders some tea, and a muffin, while Hermione shakes her head and asks for water. “Mother’s lawyer gave me a letter, like yours.” He pulls an envelope from his pocket, and takes out one of two letters inside, offering it to Hermione to read.

She takes it with a slight tremble in her hand, and opens it, the wax seal already broken by Draco.

_ My dearest Draco, _

_ I am dying, and I haven’t told you. Only Lucius knows, and so I am writing letters, and these are my last words to you. _

_ I am so very proud of you, my son. You have grown into a wonderful young man, and a superb father. I have set up a trust vault for Scorpius, for when he is seventeen, and there is a letter there for him, which you mustn’t try to read. Besides, the goblin’s won’t let you in, but I want you to know. I am so very sad that I will not be there as Scorpius grows up. You and Astoria are wonderful parents _

_ You mustn’t let Lucius slip away, keep him involved, and allow him to bring Rabastan into the family. There is no need for Lucius and Rabastan to hide their relationship anymore, he will no longer need to protect my reputation, as I will be gone when you read this. Times were very different when Lucius and I married, and we have had a very happy life and we loved each other in the best way we could. Encourage him, and know that he is not, and will never be betraying me. _

_ I know that my death will be a hard time for you, and I am truly sorry to do this, but I have a task for you. Enclosed alongside this letter is another letter, addressed to H. I met her five years ago, and as much as I tried not to, I fell in love with her. I am bold enough to make the assumption that she will also be in a sad place, and I want you to meet her, and deliver her letter. Go to Anna’s Cafe, it is a muggle place, on the first Sunday of the month after you receive this letter, and H will meet you there. Stay with her while she reads her letter, and please, look after her, be a friend to her, for me. _

_ In life, I could never have given her what we both wanted, so, my little dragon, I need you to support her through my death, as she will support you. You both must let go of your preconceptions of each other, for me. _

_ So, darling Draco, farewell. Know that I will always love you, from the very bottom of my heart, and you will carry my love with you forever. _

_ All my love, _

_ Your Mama _

As Hermione hands the letter back to Draco, the waiter brings his tea and muffin. Hermione’s face is stoic, and her lips are pursed, as if trying to restrain emotion. Draco takes his letter without a word, folds it, and returns it to the envelope.

“I didn’t know she… I can’t quite believe she’s dead, you know?” Hermione’s quiet voice startled Draco, who looked up and met her brown eyes.

“I know. She never seemed sick, and then she was gone, all of a sudden.” Draco reached across and squeezed Hermione’s hand, a moment of solidarity of their loss, then he pulled back and handed her the sealed letter with a cursive  _ H _ in Narcissa’s handwriting above her silver wax seal.

Hermione took the letter and stared down at it in her hands, then she looked up at Draco with tear-filled eyes. “I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I want to.”

Draco places his hands over hers. “Look at me. Hermione. It seems to me that she loved you, and that you loved her. I know you made her happy, these last five years, I remember how she changed. I think you’ll want to read it. You don’t have to do it now, but when you do, I’d like to be with you.”

“Why?” Hermione blinked and a tear slipped from her eye, and she wiped it away quickly. “Why do you want to be with me when I read her letter?”

“Mother asked me to. It was her last request of me, and so if you’ll allow me, I’d like to fulfill that request, both ut of respect for her, and for you. I know, somewhat, what you’re going through. We’ve both lost her, and I think she knew we could help each other through this.” Hermione could read the earnestness in Draco’s face, a rare show of emotion from the blond man, and she nodded slowly.

The chairs scraped as Hermione stood up, and Draco followed suit. “Do you mind if we go back to my flat?”

“Of course.” Draco helps her into her coat, and tosses a twenty pound note on the table as they leave.

“You know that’s way too much money?”

“Hm? Draco raises an eyebrow, and his nose crinkles a little, and Hermione looks away from him, staring up at the traffic lights.

“She used to do that too. Pay too much in muggle places. And you look so much like her…”

“And it hurts.” Draco takes her hand as they cross the road. “The little thing that catch you off guard and remind you of her, and you remember that she’s never going to do that again.”

“Yeah. It hurts. But it makes me feel like a little bit of her is still here.” Hermione squeezes his hand, then leads him into an alley, where she apparates them both to her front door.

The door creaks as it opens, and Hermione slumps into the couch, kicking of her shoes and dropping her bag on the coffee table. Draco doesn’t say anything as Hermione opens the letter slowly and begins to read, he just sits next to her on the couch, and picks up a book from the table.

_ To my darling Hermione, _

_ I’m sorry. To you, I am sorry for many things. _

_ I am sorry for not being brave enough to tell you I am dying, because you deserve to know, but I simply cannot put you through this pain until it is necessary, but by then, I will be dead. I am sorry for this. _

_ I am sorry for not being courageous enough to tell you how I feel while I can. I have loved you for years now, and I feel like you have to know, even though I will be gone when you read this. I need you to know that I didn’t hold you back because I didn’t love you, but because I did. I could never have given you the life you wanted, or deserved. _

_ When I married Lucius, he and I made a promise to each other that we would not put ourselves and our families, and later, our son, through the indignities a divorce would entail. Eventually we both found love, I with you, and he with Rabastan, and perhaps if I hadn’t become ill, we would have separated, but there is no need to dwell on what could’ve been. _

_ I want you to become part of my family, and so I have asked Draco to deliver this letter to you, and I wish you to help each other through your grief. Allow Draco, Astoria, and Lucius to become your friends, and remember me fondly together. I could’ve sent the letter with my lawyer, like the first, and certainly that would have been less convoluted, but I want you two to become family to each other, as you both carry my love with you. _

_ That being said, darling Hermione, do not spurn love in memory of me. I want you to live, and love. Have a family of your own, and above all, be happy, will all my love and blessings. _

_ I am leaving a gift for you attached to this letter, and you will receive a letter from my lawyer detailing what I left for you in my will. I want you to receive what I give you in good spirits, and do not let it tie you down. _

_ All my love, darling, sweet Hermione, _

_ Your Narcissa _

_ xx _

Beneath her signature was a necklace with a silver disk, upon which emeralds and yellow diamonds were inlaid in the pattern of a daffodil.

“I thought… I thought she didn’t love me, or something, but she was just trying to protect me.” Hermione looks up at Draco, cradling the necklace in one hand, the letter in the other, and she looks broken. “

Draco lays down his book, and pulls her into a hug as she begins to weep.

***

_ 2 years later _

Hermione dresses slowly, her fingers brushing over the silver disk handing at her throat as she sweeps her hair up. As she has since she met her, Hermione is attending the Malfoy Christmas Ball. She steps back and stares at herself in the mirror for a long moment, then shakes off the melancholy mood and grabs her bag. It doesn’t take her long to Floo to Malfoy Manor, where she is greeted with a tight hug from Draco, who has become a close friend. She leaves him to keep greeting guests, and moves into the ballroom, where her best school friend Harry is chatting to his godfathers, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. 

As she approaches, Sirius catches sight of her, and she is pierced by his grey gaze. It unsettles her, the way he looks at her as if he can see her soul, as if he knows her thoughts. His cold staring eyes are a stark contrast to his warm smile as Remus laughs.

Hermione places a soft hand on Harry’s shoulder in greeting, and he turns and hugs her. “Hermione! Merry Christmas, how are you?”

“I’m good thank you, Harry. Merry Christmas.” Hermione plasters on a smile, and remembers the times she attended the ball, back when Narcissa hosted, floating through the room like a goddess, charming everyone, and ensuring the ball ran perfectly.

“That’s a lovely necklace, Hermione.” Sirius makes an unusual observant as he hugs her, then steps back so Remus can kiss her cheek. “Rather distinct.” His eyes flick down to the necklace resting against her sternum, then back up to her own eyes.

Hermione smiles graciously. “Thank you, Sirius. It was a parting gift from someone who loved me very much, and I treasure it.”

Sirius doesn’t say anything more, so Remus smiles at her. “Well, it’s lovely, Hermione. Have a wonderful night, Merry Christmas.” He pulls Sirius away and they are whispering together as they walk away.

It’s much later in the night and Hermione steps outside for some fresh air. Every time she sees the flash of silver-blonde hair in the crowd her heart leaps and falls, because it is Draco, or Lucius, or once, Scorpius in his mother’s arms, so Hermione needs a moment to herself.

“Good evening.”

Hermione startles as Sirius appears beside her. She steps slightly away from him, as if leaving a gap between them will stop the way he’s been watching her so overtly all night, and the feeling like he knows all her secrets.

“That necklace was from Cissy.” Sirius says it as a statement, there is no questioning in his voice, as if he is completely sure.

Hermione sighs, resting her elbows on the stone balcony and dropping her head. “How did you figure it out?” At least now she knows what has made him so weird tonight, given how friendly their relationship is.

Sirius rests a comforting hand on her shoulder. “You started appearing at Narcissa’s functions all of a sudden, and I thought there was a casual fling going on. I never asked, and she never said. Then you never went away. After Cissy died, and you and Draco have become friends in the last two years. I noticed the necklace a long time ago, and I have been keeping an eye on you, for Cissy, because I know she wouldn’t want you to squander your life pining after her.”

“I know. She said the same thing, about moving on. But I still love her so much.” Hermione looks up at Sirius for guidance.

“You can love her, and cherish her memory, and also love someone new and be happy with someone new.” Sirius squeezes her shoulder and steps back. “Don’t miss too much of the party, it only starts to get good after midnight, when all the boring socialites leave.”

“That’s what Narcissa always said. Thank you Sirius.” he leaves, and Hermione lifts a hand to her necklace, the pad her finger laying over the daffodil.

“I love you, Narcissa.” She whispers out to the grounds, to the house, to the memory of Narcissa in every freshly bloomed rose and every perfectly curated room.

  
  



End file.
